When Will You Make Your Appearance?
Is the Eternal calling you…
One of the funniest episodes on “The Everybody Loves Raymond” television show happens when Raymond, frustrated by his wife’s constant refusal to be ready to leave on time, finally decides that he will punish her and teach her a lesson. After calling out and waiting, calling out and waiting, he decides to just leave for the party without her.
When he arrives at the party on time, everyone asks “Where’s Debra?” He proudly stands hands akimbo and states “She wasn’t ready, so I just left without her.” A gasp overtakes the entire crowd. Widened eyes—shaking heads—a laying down of party plates ensues as one by one the men come up, put their hands on Raymond’s shoulders, and say with tears welling up in their eyes “It was nice knowing you.”
The refusal of people to be ready on time—perhaps most often seen in the female species, is a phenomenon so pervasive that even Jesus spoke in frustration about a bride being late for her own wedding.
Lateness can come from many things. Maybe the dress didn’t show up on time from the cleaners. Maybe a former lover showed up at the window mouthing “Don’t do this! I love you.” Maybe a false eyelash dropped into the martini glass and the bridesmaid could not find it behind the olives. (It happens.)
And maybe, just maybe, there has been so much pressure on women in general to look good that men—who only have to grab a clean t-shirt to go on a date, will never understand the amount of preparation it takes, as well as money, to have that perfect combination of a natural glow, with an effervescent shine, that resembles the morning dew, the one that says “Ok, I think I’m ready to appear.” Beauty doesn’t always happen on a dime.
As writers we are often late, it seems. “When will your work make its appearance?”asks the larger world.
I looked up the roots and words related to “appearance” in order to help me understand the reticence many women, and nearly every writer experiences, when it comes time “to appear.”
The Latin root of appearance is “apparentia” which means “come in sight, make an appearance, be evident, be seen in public, show oneself.”
Interestingly, the Greek root for “appearance” is also the same root for “apparition,” which comes from the Proto Indo European language meaning “watch, see.”
One Greek word for appearance is “Phantaisia,” which translates variously as “impression, representation, or fantasy.”
While doing this research I learned that basically more than three thousand four hundred and seventy four years of ancient languages and cultures have merged into the single English word “appearance.” And all of this pressure is being brought to bear on how a writer chooses to go from the nearly invisible mist filled “apparition”—(a ghost)—to someone suddenly being “fully seen and represented.”
Is it any wonder then that we can slip so easily into the Greek word “Phantaisia”—meaning, “Which fantasy do they want to see of me? Which fantasy do I plan to represent to them? How can I show myself to be real in appearance, when I am not yet ready? Perhaps I am not sure who I really am. Who do I really want to look like in and through my writing, when my writing finally does ‘appear?’”
Relax.
I say again. Relax.
Remember, you are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience, and at that—only a temporary one. And this human experience, for all practical purposes, will be over in the blink of an eyelash (so make it a real one.)
God created you—Divine Intelligence created and designed very fiber in your being, for the joy of calling you forth, to walk alongside you in the Garden, to have a conversation with you to see and hear and learn what you “think.” Because you are not only “One,” you are the only one in God’s presence when you write.
So maybe write like you are having a conversation with the kindest, gentlest, most intelligent best friend you ever had. Don’t weigh each word before you say it—rather let it emerge from your very breath, and be surprised as it takes its own shape, being of, yet not all of you.
“Let me see your face. Let me hear your voice,” is the Eternal calling you.
One of the most tear choking scenes from the COVID pandemic came from someone very close to my family. The young man believed his father was literally dying in front of him. They lived on a farm over an hour’s drive from town, and the father refused to go to the hospital. He had seen two of his friends go to the hospital with this disease, and leave in body bags. He told his son “I want to die here. Just drive me around the farm one last time.” His son later told me “I was trying to hold it together as I drove—one hand on the steering wheel, the other hand stretched out over his chest trying to feel his heart beat.” His father, a man of all too few words, reached over and began caressing his son’s tear stained face.
“Oh my boy, my beautiful boy,” he whispered. “Have I ever told you how much I love your face?”
Once they arrived back at the house, at the man’s request the son called for the family priest to deliver the last rites. And the priest, who was also this man’s brother, said “Jim, this family will fall apart if you choose not to stay in this world alive. Go to the hospital.”
He went. He lived.
He chose, at that moment, not to disappear.
So…how do you choose to appear in this world?
And to whom?
Or are you subconsciously choosing to not show up because it would be easier to dis-appear, than appear.
“Oh my beloved …have I ever told you how much I love your face?” asks the One who created you—wanting only you to appear.
So see your words as an offering, not a declaration of perfection.
See them as a gift from your very depths, given to the One who created all depths, and deigned to bring You forth for such a time as this.
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us.”
It’s time.
Don’t be late.
It’s time.
For you, and your words, to appear.
LBJ ~ Live. Breathe. Joy.
As I prepare to meet the June Impact Writer participants this weekend this essay became a prayer in my heart for how to greet them.
It’s not too late to head on over to San Diego this weekend. Showing up is part of being seen. Being seen is where appearance begins.
Impact Writing Weekend June 6-8, 2025 in San Diego, CA
Join me for the Impact Writing Weekend and discover your purpose for writing your story, crafting your message, starting or finishing your manuscript. I will be sharing how my process allowed me to write and publish three National Best-Sellers as well as twelve other books. My prayer for this weekend is to remind each writer of why they must write.
Registrations are open for the June 6-8, 2025 Impact Writing Weekend in San Diego, CA. This particular weekend will offer both in person and online participants. If you are unable to attend in person consider attending online for the June Impact Writing Weekend.
Register Here
Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning — an old hymn that came to mind as I read this. Oh and I cringed during that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. AIS was his supposed motto “a$$ in seat” learnt from his dad. Did I mention that his dad was also a man hahahaha.
I love this! It is rich, funny, layered, and deeply spiritual which hits to my core. It speaks of my journey and of the day He whispered, “It is time”. As I write tears are streaming down my face because He said, I would be a writer. I just didn’t feel I was good enough. So, I hesitated, I hid, I became someone surviving instead of sharing the gifts He has placed in me, and they are many gifts. I am a watchwoman, a seer, a beloved child who turned out to be a woman with a new heart, a new vision, a new assignment, a new apparition. As you wrote, “God created you—Divine Intelligence created and designed every fiber in your being, for the joy of calling you forth, to walk alongside you in the Garden, to have a conversation with you to see and hear and learn what you “think.” Because you are not only “One,” you are the only one in God’s presence when you write.” I see the vision He gave me, I am standing at a door, and seeds are flying everywhere with the beautiful colors of blue, greens and yellows in the background, showing me that I have many seeds inside of me to help others. Thank you.